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I'vebeaten some crazy shit back in my head. I've tried to commit suicide,which you know well and good is hell for those left behind. I'm justtrying to be a good person Paul..." The lump caught abruptly in my throatand the tears flowed now freely...I had closed my eyes and then sensed movement, he was standing in front ofme and I felt my face buried in his chest. He was holding me steady as mysobs were heaving now, short body shakes, followed by nearly silentcrying. "You're OK..." he cooed while holding me perfectly. I wanted tomelt away in his arms, to disappear from this Amber crisis... When I hadcalmed down enough he held me back slightly, I could only stare at the wetspots on his shirt I had created. "You're perfect just the way youare..." That was followed by a kiss to my forehead and another embrace. I had calmed down a minute or so later and with my face pressed to hischest I managed, "Thank You, Paul..." He released his hold on me slowly, looking into my now surly. New make up new hair new clothes New heels new everything, how could he tell right? I ordered food and sat by myself and ate when a young black gurl came up to me and asked if she knew me, I gave my best girl voice and spoke with her.. we ended up exchanges numbers am. I needed a good pot book up and was looking to score as a girl once and awhile.. so I called her back to my table and asked if she amuses anything in her.. I got a 20 from her and she asked if I wanted to match with her on a joint I said I prefer blunts and we smiled as she pulled one out. We went into the ladies room and she rolled a blunt and we.talked for awhile. When she was finished we went to her car and lit it up around this time the same guy came to the car and jumped in the back seat. He said he wanted to smoke too so we smoked him up she said she's his little baby girl and he smiled at me and told me I should be too. I smiled and blushed a bit and said I don't think I'm the kind of gurl he wants she.
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